I Have an Excuse

Becoming a parent is life altering; once that first little baby pops out everything changes. When I look back at the 2007 Josh, I'm amazed at how different he is from the 2010 Josh. The 2007 Josh had an Xbox 360 that he used to play video games like Guitar Hero and Call of Duty. The 2010 Josh has a PlayStation 3 that plays more Baby Einstein than it does Madden 2010. The 2007 Josh had a grocery shopping list that included items like...wait, what am I saying? The 2007 Josh didn't have a shopping list, he went to the store and got whatever he wanted. On the other hand, if the 2010 Josh leaves home without a shopping list, it means going back to Walmart an hour later to pick up the forgotten baby wipes. The 2007 Josh was cool, like a ninja. The 2010 Josh has become a diaper-changing ninja.

Don't misunderstand; the change is not bad. The 2010 Josh has a son to hug, laugh, and wrestle with. The 2007 Josh only had a pug that shook the building with his nighttime snoring. Sorry, Einstein. It's true. The positives of being a parent outweigh the negatives like this guy outweighs Courtney from Survivor. I wouldn't trade being a parent for anything.

One of the hidden benefits of being a parent is being able to unashamedly watch Veggie Tales. I have always secretly loved Veggie Tales. Who doesn't? It's hilarious, and like all good cartoons, it's silly enough to appeal to kids but witty enough to engage parents. Oh yeah, it's got a good message too. Still, before I was a parent, I could never just sit down and watching Veggie Tales by myself. It just didn't feel right.

Well my friends, it feels just fine now. I have an excuse to watch Veggie Tales. His name is Noah. And while Noah laughs because the French Peas are acting silly, I laugh because the French Peas are the Veggie Tales version of the French Guards in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Veggie Tales is on the television quite often in the Bonjour Home, and it's great.

Well, it's great until you get busted for enjoying Silly Songs with Larry a little too much. Let me explain. Lately, the Veggie Tales episode of choice has been The Ballad of Little Joe. I love it because the silly song in the middle of the episode is called BellyButton. Again, Noah laughs because there are four vegetables jumping around singing, but I love it because it's four vegetables making fun of the Backstreet Boys. It's a catchy tune, and after you've heard it for the billionth time, it gets stuck in your head.

Let me reiterate: the 2007 Josh had Make War stuck in his head all day; the 2010 Josh is humming BellyButton at work.

Yes, I was humming BellyButton at work the other day, and yes, I got busted. As I was humming one of my friends said, "I'm sorry, but that song sounds exactly like BellyButton." Notice she started off by saying, "I'm sorry," as if the thought of me humming a Veggie Tales song would be offensive. For a minute it was. I was so embarrassed; I'd been busted humming a song named BellyButton. But then I realized that she knew the song too. It's like we both belonged to some secret parents' club where it's ok to know Veggie Tales songs. Sure, we might enjoy Veggie Tales, but we can always blame it on our kids if we need to.

Of course, I can't leave you without the music video for BellyButton. For those of you who aren't parents and are over the age of 10: before you watch the music video, go lock your door, close the blinds, turn the lights off, and turn the volume down to where it's barely audible. You can't risk getting caught. For those of you who are parents: grab your kids and enjoy. You have an excuse.