Wow. I have been in a MOOD today! Let me explain. The changes we are going to make as a family in the next couple of months I welcome. In fact, I have been very excited about our move to Fort Worth. There is something that thrills me about our new little adventure as a family. But the thought of giving up my perfect job, and having to look for another one in Fort Worth honestly upsets me big time.
Last week, Josh and I were looking online at different hospitals for a position in a newborn nursery. Let me tell you, when my eyes spotted on the computer screen Full time weeknights Registered Nurse- Newborn Nursery at Andrews Women's Hospital in Fort Worth, I got a little excited. Ok actually that's a lie. I was really excited! I thought to myself, "hey maybe this is all going to work out after all." We scrolled down and came across the qualifications listed:
-Bachelor's degree (check)
-Minimum of 1 year of experience is required (check)
-CPR/Basic Life Support (check)
At that moment, I was feeling pretty darn confident I had a good shot at the job. Not only was the position exactly what I wanted, it seemed perfect. It was located five miles away from our new home and the start date was not until June. I sent in an application and resume, and it wasn't too long before I got a call for an interview. I was thinking to myself, "wow, maybe the search for a job won't be as hard as I thought."
Last night I prepared myself so I could be ready to answer what I thought would be the interviewers questions. Josh helped me practice and we prayed about it before going to bed. Naturally, I was nervous but kept thinking, "surely this is the job God is providing for me."
The phone rang at exactly 1 pm. I was ready. I felt confident in the answers I had prepared. The interview went exactly the opposite of what I thought it would. She asked me every possible question I didn't think of beforehand. If you know me, you know I am not good at thinking of answers under pressure. I don't work that way, and I guarantee I never will. Well, I thought the interview was awful, but she set up another interview for thursday with one of the managers. Not long after the interview, I received a call telling me the position had already been filled. They decided to go with someone who had more experience. I sent the lady that interviewed me an email asking if she could give me some suggestions on how I could improve in the interview process. I received an email telling me I did nothing wrong in the interview, but that they had just changed the requirements on her and she didn't know.
So that is why I have been in a mood today. Honestly, I haven't been upset like this in a long, long time. Like I said before, I totally thought this was the job God was providing. In a way I felt let down. Where was God when I needed Him the most?
He was there. I came across this scripture tonight and it hit me like a ton of bricks.
"In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps." Proverbs 16:9
I had my idea of how things would go and had it all figured out. Or at least I thought I did... but it is the Lord who alone is determining our steps. And as frustrated and upset I have been all day, I am so thankful that God is in control. He has always provided for us and I know He is going to take care of us. I think God made it very clear to me tonight that I need to quit planning our course, but instead trust Him.
Would you please continue to pray with us as we seek God's direction.