April 06, 2009

Proverbs 16:9

Wow. I have been in a MOOD today! Let me explain. The changes we are going to make as a family in the next couple of months I welcome. In fact, I have been very excited about our move to Fort Worth. There is something that thrills me about our new little adventure as a family. But the thought of giving up my perfect job, and having to look for another one in Fort Worth honestly upsets me big time.

Last week, Josh and I were looking online at different hospitals for a position in a newborn nursery. Let me tell you, when my eyes spotted on the computer screen Full time weeknights Registered Nurse- Newborn Nursery at Andrews Women's Hospital in Fort Worth, I got a little excited. Ok actually that's a lie. I was really excited! I thought to myself, "hey maybe this is all going to work out after all." We scrolled down and came across the qualifications listed:

-Bachelor's degree (check)
-Minimum of 1 year of experience is required (check)
-CPR/Basic Life Support (check)

At that moment, I was feeling pretty darn confident I had a good shot at the job. Not only was the position exactly what I wanted, it seemed perfect. It was located five miles away from our new home and the start date was not until June. I sent in an application and resume, and it wasn't too long before I got a call for an interview. I was thinking to myself, "wow, maybe the search for a job won't be as hard as I thought."

Last night I prepared myself so I could be ready to answer what I thought would be the interviewers questions. Josh helped me practice and we prayed about it before going to bed. Naturally, I was nervous but kept thinking, "surely this is the job God is providing for me."

The phone rang at exactly 1 pm. I was ready. I felt confident in the answers I had prepared. The interview went exactly the opposite of what I thought it would. She asked me every possible question I didn't think of beforehand. If you know me, you know I am not good at thinking of answers under pressure. I don't work that way, and I guarantee I never will. Well, I thought the interview was awful, but she set up another interview for thursday with one of the managers. Not long after the interview, I received a call telling me the position had already been filled. They decided to go with someone who had more experience. I sent the lady that interviewed me an email asking if she could give me some suggestions on how I could improve in the interview process. I received an email telling me I did nothing wrong in the interview, but that they had just changed the requirements on her and she didn't know.

So that is why I have been in a mood today. Honestly, I haven't been upset like this in a long, long time. Like I said before, I totally thought this was the job God was providing. In a way I felt let down. Where was God when I needed Him the most?

He was there. I came across this scripture tonight and it hit me like a ton of bricks.

"In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps." Proverbs 16:9

I had my idea of how things would go and had it all figured out. Or at least I thought I did... but it is the Lord who alone is determining our steps. And as frustrated and upset I have been all day, I am so thankful that God is in control. He has always provided for us and I know He is going to take care of us. I think God made it very clear to me tonight that I need to quit planning our course, but instead trust Him.

Would you please continue to pray with us as we seek God's direction.

1 comment:

Cynthia Meeks said...

I am so sorry that job did not work out! I know you will fond the right one (even it if it is not the one you are looking for!) and you will have an amazing adventure with your family! I never answered you about the pictures, I do take all the pictures and it is becoming a hobby of mine. I got a dslr camera a for Christmas 2007 and LOVE it! I have over 7000 pictures since Hutton was born! (a little crazy, maybe!) Hutton is so close to crawling! He can get wherever he wants but I would not call it a real crawl most of the time, he will take one or two little crawls before flopping onto his tummy! How about Noah? Has he said Momma yet? Hutton has not but I hear that they can start this young so maybe soon.